Missing

Sorry I have been missing. I have a rare neurological disorder called reflex sympathetic dystrophy. It is the worst pain disease known to doctors. The disease was discovered during the civil war and was originally called causalgia. The doctors then could not understand why when the soldiers injuries healed they still had this relentless horrific pain. I am considered a type 2 which means caused by injury. My original injury was when I was 21 and crushed my right hand. But my disease has spread due to surgery and other injuries and just the disease itself. In 2015 I broke both feet. I was lucky in that RSD only spread really bad in one foot. Though it does affect a couple of my internal organs as well. I have been in a major flare up of my disease which is why I have not been posting as normal. It has been the worst flare up I have had in years. What I have found though is I am not staying in bed as I would have with even smaller flare ups. The changes I have made in my life have made a profound impact and wanted to tell you this not for sympathy but so you can see what positivity can do. And meditation. I have continued through the pain to practice Prana and then one hour of silent mediation a day. I promise you when you are in as much pain as I am its even more difficult to turn off the chatter in you head. When I am in pain I want talking noise. I cant stand music it sends me over the edge. But I like monotone talking. I have a bunch of shows I tape for just such occasions. I have also practiced positivity during this flare. I also promise this has not been easy. It would have been easier to give in to it and lay on my bed and cry. Yes, it is that bad and way worse then your imagination. On the McGillis pain scale a fracture is a 20 and RSD is 48.  The highest above cancer pain and the amputation of a finger or toe. That gives a glimpse of what I am trying to explain. Doing the meditation will actually bring my pain level at least for a short period. It is very helpful and I now understand why my doctors pushed so hard for me to have a regular schedule of it when I first got sick. I tried a few times but wasn't in a supportive environment. That has changed. I also have surrounded myself with like minded positive people. If you are with negative people get them out of your life. I don't care if they are family at least distance yourself. Positivity from those around you is all you need. Thank you for understanding my absence. I hopefully will be better in the next few days. Love and Light to you All!